Allow me to back up for a minute though and share that when my husband brought up the idea of taking the girls, there was no hesitation to my answer...."No, No, No!" The idea of my girls traveling on an airplane across the United States without me....no way!! Thought after thought, fear after fear, came to my mind and filled it to the brim. Every time my husband brought up the idea it was a loud and clear, "NO!" I threw every excuse I could at him..."what about this?" Or "what about that?". Yet he continued to pursue the idea, and not in a demanding way but a sincere, "I have been working a lot and I really want to take them and have some time with my girls" kind of way.
Slowly, and I mean very slowly, the walls started coming down. I was gently reminded by the Lord of the word He put on my heart at the start of this year..."TRUST". I began to realize how much I was NOT trusting in the situation and how wrong I was to deny my husband, my children's father, something he had every right to do. He could have so easily gone by himself on this trip and enjoyed a carefree week without the added stresses or responsibilities that come along with having children in your care. Yet he pursued and pursued this chance to take his girls and spend time with them. I couldn't ignore it anymore, I couldn't run, or pretend it wasn't something I had to face. I was 100% in the wrong. My girls could not be in more better care than with their dad!! And time with him was exactly what they needed!
So I finally went to him and shared how wrong I was and that I was open to them going BUT the mommy in me still had to give one major stipulation. One of the excuses I used for them not going had to do with my concern regarding food. It's very important to me (as I am sure it is to many of you reading this) to make sure my kids eat an overall healthy diet (and gluten free in our case!). My husband does not necessarily have those same convictions...deep fried twinkie, beer battered corn dog, greasy french fries and a large soda just might be something he would order at a 4th of July event!!! (Yuck!!) Of course there are a few of you probably drooling over this photo right now (you know who you are!!)
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| This is a deep fried twinkie...doesn't it look so delicious! NOT!!! |
Thankfully he promised to go grocery shopping when he got there and to do his very best to feed them within the guidelines I set (though I am sure he snuck in a few unhealthy, sugary, bad for you treats a time or two...I'm ok with that!).
So I bet you are all wondering how I have possibly survived 1 1 /2 weeks without my precious kids all here in my care??? Can I just share that this has been such a huge blessing in disguise!! I really needed this more than I realized. I think the day in and day out of motherhood and all that comes along with that role had really worn on me. The house has been so much more quiet (though remember I still have a 3 year old here with me so it's not completely quiet!). The laundry pile has been so much smaller. The messes have been so much less. And having this special time with my youngest has been so wonderful! It has been such a refreshing time for my spirit!
I have also been able to get a lot of things accomplished and check so much off my to-do list: spend quality time with my youngest, find a violin for my middle daughter who is starting violin lessons this year, get new car keys made (the expensive battery operated ones that are programmed to your car), buy apples and can applesauce, run 16 miles, create a schedule for the fall, finish ordering last minute things for school, buy art supplies, meet with co-teacher and plan out our running class for homeschool co-op, order 1/2 cow, get my oldest running shoes, schedule dentist appointments, hair appointments, and back to school photo session, spend time with good friends, plan and organize all the field trips for our homeschool co-op for the fall, shred and freeze zucchini, buy and can peaches...and last but not least....get me a MASSAGE!!! My massage takes place tomorrow and peaches have been bought and I plan to can in the next few days...everything else I can check off my list!!
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| Shredded 20 cups of zucchini! |
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| Bought 2 - 25lb boxes of peaches! |
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| Created a "flexible" schedule! Remember the joy of homeschooling is you are not bound to a piece of paper/schedule...you have freedom!! |
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| Ran 16 miles for my marathon training! |
My family returns in a few days and I can not wait to see them, hug them, hold them, and love on them!!! However, I believe this time away has been so good for me and also for my girls!! This will be a special trip with their daddy that they will never forget!
In closing I wanted to share a few letters my oldest wrote to me before she left on this trip. She heard my "No's" and all my concerns for why I didn't want them to go and these are notes she left behind for me. In the first note when she says, "I missed you before you lift (left) home." The night they were headed out I left before them as I had plans already to go have dinner with friends, so that is what that refers to. In the second letter take notice of her last sentence, "and don't worry about us we'll make good choices for our food." Those little letters just blessed my mommy heart tremendously!!
I'm so thankful I said "Yes"!! I'm thankful I had the Lord to lean on when I was struggling and feeling so overwhelmed by the thought of my girls going on this trip. What situation or circumstance in your life are you holding onto tightly that you need to let go of? It's time to hold onto the Lord instead and put all your TRUST in Him!
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