Thoughts on our first day of school

 

Today was our first day of school for the new year!  I try to make the first day extra special.  We started out our morning eating a delicious breakfast. 

 

 

 

Then we headed outside for the annual tradition of first day of school photos by the tree out front!!  I just love this sweet picture of my older two. 

 

 

 

Although they do have a good relationship and can be found most of the time playing and having fun together, they have many moments of being at odds.  They were being silly posing in the photo below...but I just had to share this as it goes so nicely with what is on my heart for this post.

 

 

 

Today, on this first day of school, which should be so wonderful and blissful in every way (ok in a perfect world) there have been many moments of fighting, disagreements, and unkind words/actions towards each other.  At one point I sat my girls down and shared with them how important relationship with each other is, more important than academics or extracurricular activities.  This year I have chosen to focus more inwardly on our family relationships and say no to all the extra outside the home stuff that so easily fill the calendar and consume our time.  I pointed out to my girls how the Lord is wanting to do a work in all of our hearts during this season (and always)! 

 

This morning the girls did their reading, language lessons, copywork, and math.  This part of the day seemed to go very well!  Yay!!! 

 

 

After lunch we sat down on the couch and read the first chapter from our history curriculum (A Living History of Our World, volume 2 by Angela O'Dell).  Afterwards I opened the notebooking journal that my oldest is going to be doing alongside her history.  At the very beginning of the book was a "kindness book" to be cut out.  Every week the child is suppose to write one kind thing they did that week and who they showed kindness too.   As I began to read the information and instructions regarding the book, I found myself getting all choked up.  I wasn't sure how this fit in with history, but the timing couldn't have been more perfect and the idea more necessary than right now!!  (Thank you Angela O'Dell for your amazing heart and for adding this into the history journal!)

 

Even as I am typing these words my oldest remains on the couch and has so for the last 20 minutes.  I told her we are going to dedicate this book to her relationship with her younger sister and every week she is going to fill it in with something kind she has done for her.  She has sat there and is unable to think of anything from this past week...so I told her just think of one thing from your whole entire life of knowing your sister...she continues sitting there thinking long and hard.  It really isn't that hard to come up with something kind she has done for her sister, she has done many kind things, more things than I could even list.  But there is an issue of the heart happening right now and....God is in the business of changing hearts and getting the junk out...even in a young child's life. 

 

I learned very quickly on, that with the decision to homeschool, it meant our days were going to be messy, our ugly sides would be seen, sin & pride would creep up often, and chaos would happen regularly.  This is the reality when you have imperfect big and little people all under one roof for a good portion of your day.  The thing we have on our side with homeschooling is time...we are given lots of minutes and hours of time in our day to stop and address the ugliness head on (including our own ugliness at times) and to see imperfect progress!

 

Perhaps you can relate.  You had all these ideals in your head of what you thought homeschooling would look like and the reality is a far cry from what you had imagined.  Maybe you have asked yourself, "Am I really cut out to homeschool my children?" or "Did I really volunteer myself to take homeschooling and all that it entails on?"  

 

You can do this!!  As you draw near to God and call out to Him for strength, joy, trust, guidance, and direction, He will NOT fail you.  Trust your kids and your year of homeschooling to the Lord!!   Just watch out because some amazing things are going to come out of the hard moments, the rough days, the overwhelming situations!  You will see breakthrough, you will see growth, walls come down, attitudes change, and relationships made stronger!  We desperately need God's peace, patience, strength and wisdom every moment of every day!  (I'm speaking these words to myself right now and believing God to move in a mighty way!!) 

 

Blessings on each one of you amazing homeschool moms!!  Praying for an amazing year for you and your kiddos!!

 

 

 

 

 

 P.S. - My oldest finally brought me her "kindness book" and I opened it and read for week 1, "I gave my grandma a glass painted turtle."  I sent her back to the couch to redo and list something kind she has done for her sister, to which she finally wrote, "I gave my sister a toy hamster for Christmas."  She did it but not with a happy heart in the least.  I finally requested that she go to her room and talk to Jesus about her heart and attitude.  Jesus is the only one who can fix our sin and set us free!  She came out of her room a few minutes ago with a huge smile on her face and is happily playing with both her sisters right now.  Time for me to go make dinner.  Tomorrow is a new day!

 

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So thankful I said "Yes"!

Just over a week ago I hugged and kissed my husband and two older girls goodbye as they headed off on a trip east to Virginia. It was a very hard and emotional day to say the least.  My husband had been planning to go alone for our nephews wedding but at the last minute decided he wanted to bring the girls along.  Originally he thought it would be a quick trip there and back due to work commitments, but plans changed, which allowed him to go for a longer stay.  Since I do childcare and didn't feel right putting this family in a last minute situation of having to find alternative care, I decided to stay behind with our youngest. 

Allow me to back up for a minute though and share that when my husband brought up the idea of taking the girls, there was no hesitation to my answer...."No, No, No!"  The idea of my girls traveling on an airplane across the United States without me....no way!!  Thought after thought, fear after fear, came to my mind and filled it to the brim.  Every time my husband brought up the idea it was a loud and clear, "NO!"  I threw every excuse I could at him..."what about this?" Or "what about that?".  Yet he continued to pursue the idea, and not in a demanding way but a sincere, "I have been working a lot and I really want to take them and have some time with my girls" kind of way. 

Slowly, and I mean very slowly, the walls started coming down.  I was gently reminded by the Lord of the word He put on my heart at the start of this year..."TRUST".   I began to realize how much I was NOT trusting in the situation and how wrong I was to deny my husband, my children's father, something he had every right to do.  He could have so easily gone by himself on this trip and enjoyed a carefree week without the added stresses or responsibilities that come along with having children in your care.  Yet he pursued and pursued this chance to take his girls and spend time with them.  I couldn't ignore it anymore, I couldn't run, or pretend it wasn't something I had to face.  I was 100% in the wrong.  My girls could not be in more better care than with their dad!!  And time with him was exactly what they needed!

So I finally went to him and shared how wrong I was and that I was open to them going BUT the mommy in me still had to give one major stipulation.  One of the excuses I used for them not going had to do with my concern regarding food.  It's very important to me (as I am sure it is to many of you reading this) to make sure my kids eat an overall healthy diet (and gluten free in our case!).  My husband does not necessarily have those same convictions...deep fried twinkie, beer battered corn dog, greasy french fries and a large soda just might be something he would order at a 4th of July event!!!  (Yuck!!)  Of course there are a few of you probably drooling over this photo right now (you know who you are!!)

This is a deep fried twinkie...doesn't it look so delicious!  NOT!!!

Thankfully he promised to go grocery shopping when he got there and to do his very best to feed them within the guidelines I set (though I am sure he snuck in a few unhealthy, sugary, bad for you treats a time or two...I'm ok with that!).

So I bet you are all wondering how I have possibly survived 1 1 /2 weeks without my precious kids all here in my care???  Can I just share that this has been such a huge blessing in disguise!!  I really needed this more than I realized.  I think the day in and day out of motherhood and all that comes along with that role had really worn on me.  The house has been so much more quiet (though remember I still have a 3 year old here with me so it's not completely quiet!).  The laundry pile has been so much smaller.  The messes have been so much less.   And having this special time with my youngest has been so wonderful!  It has been such a refreshing time for my spirit!

I have also been able to get a lot of things accomplished and check so much off my to-do list:  spend quality time with my youngest, find a violin for my middle daughter who is starting violin lessons this year, get new car keys made (the expensive battery operated ones that are programmed to your car), buy apples and can applesauce, run 16 miles, create a schedule for the fall, finish ordering last minute things for school, buy art supplies, meet with co-teacher and plan out our running class for homeschool co-op, order 1/2 cow, get my oldest running shoes, schedule dentist appointments, hair appointments, and back to school photo session, spend time with good friends, plan and organize all the field trips for our homeschool co-op for the fall, shred and freeze zucchini, buy and can peaches...and last but not least....get me a MASSAGE!!!  My massage takes place tomorrow and peaches have been bought and I plan to can in the next few days...everything else I can check off my list!!



Shredded 20 cups of zucchini!



Bought 2 - 25lb boxes of peaches!

Created a "flexible" schedule!  Remember the joy of homeschooling is you are
not bound to a piece of paper/schedule...you have freedom!!

Ran 16 miles for my marathon training!

My family returns in a few days and I can not wait to see them, hug them, hold them, and love on them!!!  However, I believe this time away has been so good for me and also for my girls!!  This will be a special trip with their daddy that they will never forget!

In closing I wanted to share a few letters my oldest wrote to me before she left on this trip.  She heard my "No's" and all my concerns for why I didn't want them to go and these are notes she left behind for me.  In the first note when she says, "I missed you before you lift (left) home." The night they were headed out I left before them as I had plans already to go have dinner with friends, so that is what that refers to.  In the second letter take notice of her last sentence, "and don't worry about us we'll make good choices for our food."  Those little letters just blessed my mommy heart tremendously!!

I'm so thankful I said "Yes"!!  I'm thankful I had the Lord to lean on when I was struggling and feeling so overwhelmed by the thought of my girls going on this trip.  What situation or circumstance in your life are you holding onto tightly that you need to let go of?  It's time to hold onto the Lord instead and put all your TRUST in Him!

 



 

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One Tiny Morsel

 

Today I had to be very creative with what to serve for lunch as I was limited on my options (this mama really needs to go grocery shopping!).  I had some leftover rice and some veggies, so I whipped up a stir fried rice dish...I even put in the scrambled eggs like the restaurants do!!

Of course my girls were not as excited about my wonderful creation as I was...so I bribed them (yes you heard me right I bribed them!!!) with the promise of a scoop of ice cream after they ate ALL their lunch.  My oldest ate all her lunch up in a jiffy and started in on her treat.  My youngest wasn't wanting to eat her lunch but really wanted the ice cream...so my oldest spoon fed her until she had eaten it all. 

Left was my lovely, but sometimes sneaky, middle daughter.  I was in the kitchen cleaning up and felt the need to look in on her in the dining room.  I looked just in time to catch her throwing a small piece of her food onto the ground.  I quickly said her name and she jumped for dear life....she had a look on her face like a deer in the headlights.  She got caught. 

I could have handled the situation a number of ways...in reality it was just a small morsel of food right?  No biggie, no REAL harm done, just a small unnoticeable amount.   But I turned it into a HUGE lesson for my daughter...one about honesty, integrity, and honoring God....even in the smallest of moments.

She was not given the opportunity for any ice cream.  There needed to be consequences for her actions because, although small, it was wrong, deceptive, sneaky, and dishonoring.  I wanted her to understand how exactly sin works in our lives. 

It starts out small, harmless, no big deal, no body would ever know, no one else would be impacted by that choice.  But sin takes root and grows and festers. 

SIN WILL TAKE YOU FARTHER THAN YOU WANTED TO GO, KEEP YOU LONGER THAN YOU WANTED TO STAY, AND COST YOU FAR MORE THAN YOU WERE WILLING TO PAY

Every day we have opportunities to teach our children the principals behind our faith, help them to understand right from wrong, show them how much God loves and values them, and extend grace and forgiveness to them just as God extends to us!

 

My daughter may have missed out on a delicious bowl of ice cream today but I hope and pray that the lesson she learned would be something she carries with her all of her life...how amazing it feels to confess wrong, to make things right, to be embraced with open arms and to receive forgiveness, and to have the weight of sin lifted.  No amount of ice cream can measure up!!

 

I wanted to share all of this today because there are many days as I mom I feel overwhelmed, discouraged, unmotivated, weary, and come down very hard on myself.  But it's in moments like today that I am reminded...it isn't all for nothing. 

 

Keep up all that you are doing moms!!  Your kids will someday be world changers all because you stopped to teach them a lesson on honesty over one tiny morsel!!

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Homeschooling in 2013

 

Only a few days of Christmas break are remaining before we start back up with schooling.  I wanted to share a word that I hope brings you encouragement as you homeschool in 2013.

As I look back over the past few years of homeschooling my girls, I can see change, so much change in myself.  I started out being what I call a "research queen".  I pretty much spent all my free time checking out and familiarizing myself with every different kind of homeschool curriculum available, reading homeschooling blogs, homeschooling books, and homeschool magazines.  Not that any of those things are bad (thank you for taking time to read my homeschooling blog), but for me it was all consuming.  I spent a lot of time looking into ALL my options as I wanted the very best for my children.  I felt this huge weight on my shoulders, that it was entirely up to me and me alone to provide my girls with the very best education I could.   

I was also very structured and rigid.  Our entire day was written out on an hour by hour schedule.   There was also a lot of "butting heads" with my oldest and many frustrating moments (side note:  I love it when people say, "Oh I could never ever homeschool my child because we would butt heads all the time"....hello I think many homeschool parents encounter this sort of thing).  I was trying to be in control of everything!!  The Lord began showing me how I needed to release things to Him and not try and micro-manage and stress over all the day to day details.  I needed to put my trust in God completely, especially in the area of homeschooling.  He began to show me how to "Step Off The Beaten Path" and focus on the unique goals and vision He was calling me to in homeschooling, not a formula or a standard that our world says education should be and look like.  I began to slowly let go of the control, the expectations, the worry, and trying to imitate what I thought it needed to look like.

 

So the biggest change has been in me surrendering all those things to the Lord.  I didn't need to be constantly researching the latest and greatest curriculum (though I am thankful for where my researching has brought me too!), I didn't need a minute by minute schedule, and I didn't have to be at odds constantly with my children.  The Lord was calling me to a relationship based homeschool atmosphere not an academic one.  I also didn't need to prove myself and my ability to teach or prove that my children are socialized and intelligent "despite" being homeschooled to anyone.  I needed to trust and obey what the Lord was asking of me!   

So homeschool mom, are you trusting, truly trusting the Lord as you homeschool?  Is He ultimately in control or are you?  Are you doing things to please man or God?  Are you worried about impressing others or doing things to "prove" you can successfully homeschool your kids?  Are you constantly trying to micro manage everyone and everything?   Is there alot of tension, frustration, and stress in your home?   Are you always on the look out for the "perfect" curriculum for your family, but can't ever seem to find it?  It doesn't have to be that way! 

If I had to put into one word what I want 2013 to be about it would be: TRUST!!  I pray that in 2013 there would be freedom, joy and TRUST in your homeschooling journey!

Trust God with the bigger things and focus more on enjoying the little things this year!  The moments when your child crawls in bed for an early morning snuggle, the laughter you hear from the other room, putting on a tea party and inviting some friends over (I have girls so this is what we do!), listening as your child goes on and on and on about something, sweet hugs and kisses, reading God's word to your kids or better yet hearing them read it to you for the first time, seeing your child humble themselves and ask for forgiveness, running to greet daddy when he gets home from work, seeing the light bulb come on for your child as they finally grasp something you have been teaching them!  There are so many precious little moments in the day to grab ahold of and enjoy!  

 

  Focus on relationship and discipleship above anything else! Give yourself permission to relax! Ask the Lord to show you how to reach the heart of your child who you have struggles with and seem to clash with. Seek to understand more clearly the direction, vision, and goals the Lord would have you to focus on with your children.  There is no cookie cutter, one-size-fits-all approach to homeschooling....so choose above all else to trust the Lord in whatever He may be calling you to do or not to do in 2013!

 

 

 

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Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 5

It's a bird! It's a plane! Wait it's Super Mom!

Photo Courtesy of Dana Leigh Photography


Oh how I wish it were so, but the truth must be told, I am not and never will be "Super Mom".  I've made plenty of mistakes along the way.  There have been times when other moms appear to me, to be that "Super Mom".  They have well behaved kids, always seem to speak with gentleness and patience, make homemade gourmet meals all the time, have a well maintained home, and on and on.  But the reality is, we all have imperfections and we all are raising imperfect kids. If anything in life humbles us, it's being a mom.

The one thing every mom has in common is our need to sit and soak in God's amazing grace!! And it's that same grace that we must pour out onto our kid’s every day.

Google Image

In a home with 3 little girls there are plenty of moments of emotions, tears, screams, attitudes, selfish actions, drama, tattle telling and crankiness.  It can definitely feel overwhelming and more than I can take at times.  I want my days to be easy going, everyone getting along, everyone following the rules, and a calm and peaceful atmosphere...is that too much to ask? 


When one of my girls acted or spoke in a wrong manner I was quick to show disappointment both with my tone and body language.  I would say things like, "You know better than to do that!", "What were you thinking?". "Why would you treat your sister that way?", and other similar statements. 


I recently had a revelation after reading the book, "Give them Grace: Dazzling your kids with the love of Jesus", that I was parenting with this expectation of perfect obedience and perfect rule following. 


Is my goal to raise up kids who are great "Rule" followers?  No it's not!  Following the rules is good, but the reality is they will fail, because they have a sin nature (Romans 3:23).  Its more beneficial to my girls that I show them how to be great "Jesus" followers.  I am learning to pour out grace on myself and my girls and to be "slow to anger and rich in love". Rather than feeling disappointment when I have to "deal" with wrong behaviors, attitudes, and actions, It's an opportunity to point my girls to Jesus.  Every time they fall short, I can remind them that Jesus is standing with arms wide open ready to receive, embrace, forgive, and pour out grace upon their lives.  

I need to hold myself and my kids to a standard of GRACE not perfection.

"The Lord is gracious and compassionate.  Slow to anger and rich in love" Psalms 145:8

"God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God." Ephesians 2:8


Do you struggle with mom guilt?  Do you find yourself making comparisons to other moms?  Does it seem like your patience level is very low?  When your kids disobey or make a wrong choice, do you feel like you always come down hard on them? Do you have unrealistic expectations of perfection for your kids?  For yourself? God wants to exchange the guilt for His grace.  Grace is a gift lavished upon our lives, it's not based on good works, following the rules, or perfection.  I encourage you to take a moment and surrender those areas to the Lord.

      
Having a standard of grace has made a tremendous difference in my parenting efforts.  My perspective has changed a lot.  How I handle situations has improved.  Am I perfect in my efforts?  No.  But thats where God's grace comes in! 


Here are some great recommendations:

• Give them grace: Dazzling your kids with the Love of Jesus
• Grace Based Parenting
• Shepherding a Child's Heart

Thank you so much for participating in this 5 week series with me!  I plan to do another series in the near future!  


For those who missed previous posts in this series:
Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 1
Dancing Through The Season - Week 2
Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 3
Dancing Through the Seasons - Week 4


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Photo courtesty of Dana Leigh Photography

Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 4

Photo Courtesy of Dana Leigh Photography


"I want, I need, I must have"
Helping our daughters to be content

Recently on our drive home from a play date, "Mooki" was in the back seat sulking.  Our dear friends, whose house we had just left, had made a decision to let their 8 year old daughter have a cell phone. "Mooki" was in her "I want, I need, I must have" mode.  "Mommy, I really want a cell phone too", she said.  I responded with "No honey, there is no need for you to have your own phone yet", then came the, "That's not fair, ALL my friends have phones". (Uh...not quite)

It would have been so easy for me to put my foot down and say, "I said NO and that is the end of this conversation, do not bring it up again", but I didn't do that.  I really tried to listen to her, ask lots of questions, and get to the root issues going on in her heart.  As our conversation continued, she finally admitted feeling jealous.  I was able to validate her, be understanding of how she was feeling, and also use that moment to teach contentment. 

  Why do they believe their little friends seem to have "way cooler" toys, "way cuter" clothes, and "way more" dolls?  Even us mom's can battle those thoughts too (I'll be addressing this more next week!).  It's so vital that we examine our own hearts and see if there are jealous thoughts in there.  If so, we need to confess those areas to the Lord and seek contentment.  We have to be that example to our girls.   

Why does the grass always seem greener on the other side? 


Courtesy of Google Image

I truly believe one of the greatest ways to help our kids combat discontentment, is to teach them about the importance of and give them opportunities to serve, love, embrace, share and put others first. The joy that comes through blessing others brings about true contentment!

I was reading in my Bible recently out of Exodus 35 & 36.  Moses had asked the Israelites to give of their personal belongings to help build the Lords Sanctuary.  Exodus 35:29 says, "So the people of Israel—every man and woman who was eager to help in the work the LORD had given them through Moses—brought their gifts and gave them freely to the LORD."  After the people had brought their materials, Bezalel, the craftsman chosen to do the work came to Moses and in Exodus 36:5 said, “The people have given more than enough materials to complete the job the LORD has commanded us to do!” They went above and beyond for the Lord. 

My desire is for my girls to have an eagerness to give, and not just give the bare minimum, but to go above and beyond for the Lord.  Almost a year ago "Mooki" began begging for an American Girl doll (which cost $100).   I helped her come up with a plan to earn the money.  She ended up earning $200+ by making and selling small bags. When we arrived at the American Girl doll store, "Mookie" turned to "Lover Girl" and announced that she was also buying her a doll! I was one proud mama in that moment. What an awesome act of kindness, generosity, and an eagerness to give!

I'm sure I am going to have many more, "I want, I need, I must have" conversations with my girls.  In the long run though, I pray my girls grow up to be women of influence for the things of God and to have huge impact in this world! 

Courtesy of Google Image

Things we do to help instill contentment:

• Avoid commercial media that targets kids
• Stay far away from toy stores!
• Request "already used" gifts at their birthdays
• Declutter their "stuff" a few times a year.
• Host an Operation Christmas Child Shoebox Party!

• Visit a local elderly care center at Christmas.
• Donate money to World Vision during the relief efforts in Haiti, per their request.
• Express thankfulness often.
• Learn about other cultures and their needs.
• Talk about missions and other service projects (with plans to do more of these things as they get older).
• Practice putting one another first in daily life.

  Other Resources:

• How to raise grateful kids!
• 100 ways for your family to make a difference  
• "Becoming a World Changing Family"
• Raising Unselfish Children in a Self Absorbed World
• When Cheese Sandwiches Make You Cry

Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 1
Dancing Through The Season - Week 2
Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 3

Coming up next week: 
"It's a bird! It's a plane! Wait it's Supermom"
(learning to have a standard of grace NOT perfection in your parenting)

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Photo courtesty of Dana Leigh Photography

Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 3

Photo courtesy of Dana Leigh Photography

My Little Girl Isn't So Little Anymore

It was late November and our family was out to pizza to celebrate "Mooki's" 8th birthday. I turned to my husband and jokingly said, "Well now that she is 8, I guess that means it’s almost time that we have 'the talk' with her". I knew she would have no idea what I meant by "the talk". However, she got this huge smile on her face and says, "Oh I know what you are talking about!” I got a little nervous and said, "You do?” I will never forget her response, "Yep you want to talk to me about when I can get a cell phone!" My husband and I looked at one another and had quite the laugh with that one.

I'm thankful for the innocence that my girls have and that they haven't been prematurely exposed to subject matters that their minds and hearts are not ready to hear.

I don't actually believe in having "the talk", in the sense of a one-time, never again, get-it-done-and-over-with kind of conversation.  I believe it must be on-going, appropriate to their age and maturity, and become more in depth over time.  I know for some moms they are much more reserved and it is more challenging to get up the nerve to talk about those very personal things. So if that is you, it's OK, just ask the Lord to give you those opportunities to share little tidbits with your girls and that you will begin to gain more confidence as you go along.  Often when a young child comes to you with a question they aren't seeking a 30 minute, pull out the diagram explanation, a sweet & simple response is sufficient. 

A 5 year old asked her mom, "Mommy is it ok for daddy to see you naked?" and her response was "Yes it is ok because he is my husband". That was that and the little girl headed off to play.



Periods-One thing my girls have already had a slight introduction to is women having their monthly cycle. I have never made a big deal about having my period. I strive not to gripe, complain, or make negative comments. My girls have seen my feminine products and I've explained to them that a period is a normal and natural thing which allows us to have babies!  I don't want it to seem shameful, embarrassing, or disgusting and I want my girls as ready as they can be. 

Prepare a gift basket to have ready for when they do start. Fill it with all the necessities and some fun things too: feminine products, chocolate, Aleve, deodorant, lotions, chapstick, etc. Make it a celebration!

How Babies are made - I love that my girls think that babies are made through prayer, you make a request to God and then he places a baby in your womb. However, during my pregnancy with "Sweet Pea", my oldest inquired for further explanations on how babies were made. I told her, "Well, God takes a piece of daddy and a piece of mommy to create the baby". That seemed to satisfy her curiosity for a while until one day she says,

  "I know God takes a piece of Daddy and a piece of you...but what piece does he take because I don't see any parts missing?"

At that point I simply said, "Well there is more I want to share with you about how babies are made but I'd like to wait until you are a little older so that I know your heart is ready to hear everything, is that ok?"

Modesty - Modesty is another topic that I am already discussing with my girls.  I appreciate fashion and style and "Mooki" has quite the fashion sense herself.  Obviously, many of the styles in department stores, and sadly in the kids department, are very inappropriate and immodest.  So when we go shopping we talk through "why" something is or isn't appropriate. They are learning to evaluate clothing and determine if it covers the areas that need to be covered.  We also take into consideration the  words and/or artwork on the clothing.

Courtesy of Google Image

Boy Talk - Recently I noticed "Mooki" acting a little giddy around a certain boy.  While out on a mother/daughter date I shared with her what I had observed.  She said, "Ok mom, I will tell you the truth, sometimes when I am around certain boys I wonder if maybe they are the person God has for me to marry."   Inside I was definitely laughing, it was super cute how she said it, but I was also thinking, "Really at 8 you already have those thoughts?"    I told her that she is still very young and she just needs to focus on friendships and not grown up stuff .  I also encouraged her to just be herself around everyone and that she should never feel like she needs to act, talk, or dress differently than who God made her to be....in order to "impress" anyone.  

On occasion when the topic of boys comes up in conversation, My husband and I share that we love our girls and want the very best for them, especially in who they marry someday.   We emphasize that we will be very involved and helping in the process of figuring out who God has for them to marry!

Not all little girls think so far into the future in regards to marriage.   However many girls are natural born "dreamers" even from a young age.   In the case of my oldest, I try to focus on the qualities of a future husband as opposed to talk about having a boyfriend.  When my girls are in that place, we'll talk more about boys and dating. For now they are learning how boys should treat a lady by how they see their dad treating me and them! They are learning about friendship, respect, and true acts of love.

courtesy of Google Image



Here are some recommendations of books for you to read:

• "Six ways to keep the Little in your girl"
  
• "8 great dates for moms and daughters"
• Gentle Passage
• Welcome to Womanhood
  Mother/Daughter books to read together:

• The Princess and the Kiss
• Gods Design for Sex Series
• From Girl to Woman
• Beautiful Girlhood
• Beautifully Made 

Coming up next week: "I want, I need, I must have: Helping our daughters to be content"

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Photo courtesty of Dana Leigh Photography