Monday, January 30, 2012

Dancing Through The Seasons Series - Week 1

It's a Girl, It's a Girl, & It's another Girl!
(Left to Right) Mooki, Sweet Pea, & Lover Girl
In November 2003, six days past my due date, I became a mom for the very first time.  We didn't find out the gender, so after "Mooki" arrived, we heard, "It's a Girl" for the very first time.   When my firstborn came into this world, it was such a surreal feeling and one of total bliss.   I seemed to adjust well to life with a little one.  All those little milestones were captured in photos and videos: first smile, first words, first haircut, first table foods, and first steps .  I felt like I had things all figured out (ha!) in my role as a mom! 

When "Mooki" was around 18 months I got a huge wake up call!!  Tantrums, meltdowns, and defiant moments began happening!  What happened to my sweet little girl?  It became a pretty common practice for me to call my husband at work (or another family member) bawling my eyes out.  One day it might have been over pink nail polish on my brand new carpet and the next melt downs in the middle of the grocery store.  Just trying to get her dressed became this major saga.  She was extremely determined in everything and would not back felt like an all out war at times...and I certainly wasn't going to let a toddler win!   
 A month after "Mooki" turned 2, I gave birth to "Lover Girl".  The first night home from the hospital my oldest was being very clingy and wanting me to hold her a lot, a normal reaction to a new baby sister I was guessing.  Suddenly she was complaining of not feeling well and threw up all over the floor.  I felt her head and realized she had a high fever too.  This was my initiation to life with a newborn and toddler! HELP!!
Sometimes I don't even know how I survived those early years as a mom.  One escaped out the door of a consignment store without my knowledge (thankfully a nice stranger came to the rescue).  We took a trip to the emergency room for a cut on the back of a head.  A fun "surprise" was brought to me and placed on the kitchen counter (I'll give you a usually goes in the toilet).  "Mooki" threw a screaming fit in the middle of Trader Joes that had me rushing out to my car with no groceries in hand.  I was on my knees a lot, and I wish I could say it was because I was praying, but instead it was because I was cleaning up crayon markings on the wall, nail polish on my floor, poo on the carpet, vomit, spills, etc... 
At the end of the day, when I laid my head on my pillow, and thought back on that days tantrums, mischievous behaviors, or defiant battles and how I handled those moments....I felt worn out, defeated, and was pretty certain I could win the award for the worst mom of the year.  Motherhood certainly wasn't at all what I had envisioned.
I'm still working my way through the toddler year with "Sweet Pea", daughter #3.  A few days ago I was once again on my knees cleaning up poo off the carpet.  Last night, "Sweet Pea" had a screaming fit during dinner.  She was refusing to put her bib on and I wouldn't give her food to her until she did.  With 3 girls in this home, there is always some sort of squabble, attitudes to be addressed, tears shed, whining tones, high pitched screams, manipulation tactics happening, or emotional needs to be met.
Here is the thing though, now when I lay my head to my pillow at night, I don't feel despair or defeat like I once did.  So what has changed?  My perspective on motherhood changed!  I'm not dragging my feet...I'm dancing (figuratively speaking - though I can bust out some pretty good running man moves).  I have such gratitude for the 3 blessings God has given my husband and I.  I'm thankful for every day I am able to spend with my girls and pour into their lives...even if our day has some tears or meltdowns.  I look back on those "imperfect" moments in our day and say, "Thank you Lord for using that situation as an opportunity to remind my girls and I how desperately we need you". 
I need the Holy Spirit to fill me with His wisdom, guidance, gentleness, self-control, grace, and love every day.   One thing I have done to help me be in the Word and praying on a more regular basis was to sign up for an online, "read through the Bible in the year plan", called You Version.  I also am participating in a 10 week online Bible Study through the book of Ephesians. 
What about you?  Can you relate to the challenges of raising kids?  Specifically little girls?  When you lay your head on your pillow at night do all the days events flood your thoughts?  Do you feel defeated?  Burdened?  Worn out?  It's time to put those dancing shoes on.

When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way. Wayne Dyer

Being a mom, is the hardest journey of your life.  God has not called the equipped to be moms....he equips the called!  Find ways to spend time in His presence as often as you can!  Pour out your heart to the Lord and ask Him to give you a new perspective! 

Maybe Motherhood is a pretty amazing thing after all!

Coming up next week:  "My daughter doesn't ever stop talking"

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Photo courtesty of Dana Leigh Photography


  1. After having three boys having a daughter was an eye opening experience for me. Boys want you to wrestle, explore, and conquer giants and aliens with them, my girl wants to play dress up and talk and talk...and talk some more. I often tell my husband when he gets home that my ears are just tired! There are nights I lay in bed in tears because I know that while I took care of her physical and educational needs I probably failed miserably her emotional needs, the needs to connect on some deep level with me. I pray for God to teach me to stop and just listen to her is a daily struggle. Also I don't get the drama...what is that all about anyway???

    1. With 5 girls and 4 boys, we have a lot of different temperaments and personalities among our kids. I think the talkative thing isn't necessarily gender-- I'm a quiet female, and some of my girls are, too. But others are very talkative. Same with the boys.

      But there does seem to be more drama/moodiness with girls, especially when they are teens; I really don't think PMS is part of God's original plan, though-- I think it's part of the fall!

  2. Thanks for sharing Andrea! WOW...can sure say I can relate! :) So very thankful for my 3 bundles of blessing-even in the midst of all the craziness!