Dancing Through The Seasons - Week 3

Photo courtesy of Dana Leigh Photography

My Little Girl Isn't So Little Anymore

It was late November and our family was out to pizza to celebrate "Mooki's" 8th birthday. I turned to my husband and jokingly said, "Well now that she is 8, I guess that means it’s almost time that we have 'the talk' with her". I knew she would have no idea what I meant by "the talk". However, she got this huge smile on her face and says, "Oh I know what you are talking about!” I got a little nervous and said, "You do?” I will never forget her response, "Yep you want to talk to me about when I can get a cell phone!" My husband and I looked at one another and had quite the laugh with that one.

I'm thankful for the innocence that my girls have and that they haven't been prematurely exposed to subject matters that their minds and hearts are not ready to hear.

I don't actually believe in having "the talk", in the sense of a one-time, never again, get-it-done-and-over-with kind of conversation.  I believe it must be on-going, appropriate to their age and maturity, and become more in depth over time.  I know for some moms they are much more reserved and it is more challenging to get up the nerve to talk about those very personal things. So if that is you, it's OK, just ask the Lord to give you those opportunities to share little tidbits with your girls and that you will begin to gain more confidence as you go along.  Often when a young child comes to you with a question they aren't seeking a 30 minute, pull out the diagram explanation, a sweet & simple response is sufficient. 

A 5 year old asked her mom, "Mommy is it ok for daddy to see you naked?" and her response was "Yes it is ok because he is my husband". That was that and the little girl headed off to play.



Periods-One thing my girls have already had a slight introduction to is women having their monthly cycle. I have never made a big deal about having my period. I strive not to gripe, complain, or make negative comments. My girls have seen my feminine products and I've explained to them that a period is a normal and natural thing which allows us to have babies!  I don't want it to seem shameful, embarrassing, or disgusting and I want my girls as ready as they can be. 

Prepare a gift basket to have ready for when they do start. Fill it with all the necessities and some fun things too: feminine products, chocolate, Aleve, deodorant, lotions, chapstick, etc. Make it a celebration!

How Babies are made - I love that my girls think that babies are made through prayer, you make a request to God and then he places a baby in your womb. However, during my pregnancy with "Sweet Pea", my oldest inquired for further explanations on how babies were made. I told her, "Well, God takes a piece of daddy and a piece of mommy to create the baby". That seemed to satisfy her curiosity for a while until one day she says,

  "I know God takes a piece of Daddy and a piece of you...but what piece does he take because I don't see any parts missing?"

At that point I simply said, "Well there is more I want to share with you about how babies are made but I'd like to wait until you are a little older so that I know your heart is ready to hear everything, is that ok?"

Modesty - Modesty is another topic that I am already discussing with my girls.  I appreciate fashion and style and "Mooki" has quite the fashion sense herself.  Obviously, many of the styles in department stores, and sadly in the kids department, are very inappropriate and immodest.  So when we go shopping we talk through "why" something is or isn't appropriate. They are learning to evaluate clothing and determine if it covers the areas that need to be covered.  We also take into consideration the  words and/or artwork on the clothing.

Courtesy of Google Image

Boy Talk - Recently I noticed "Mooki" acting a little giddy around a certain boy.  While out on a mother/daughter date I shared with her what I had observed.  She said, "Ok mom, I will tell you the truth, sometimes when I am around certain boys I wonder if maybe they are the person God has for me to marry."   Inside I was definitely laughing, it was super cute how she said it, but I was also thinking, "Really at 8 you already have those thoughts?"    I told her that she is still very young and she just needs to focus on friendships and not grown up stuff .  I also encouraged her to just be herself around everyone and that she should never feel like she needs to act, talk, or dress differently than who God made her to be....in order to "impress" anyone.  

On occasion when the topic of boys comes up in conversation, My husband and I share that we love our girls and want the very best for them, especially in who they marry someday.   We emphasize that we will be very involved and helping in the process of figuring out who God has for them to marry!

Not all little girls think so far into the future in regards to marriage.   However many girls are natural born "dreamers" even from a young age.   In the case of my oldest, I try to focus on the qualities of a future husband as opposed to talk about having a boyfriend.  When my girls are in that place, we'll talk more about boys and dating. For now they are learning how boys should treat a lady by how they see their dad treating me and them! They are learning about friendship, respect, and true acts of love.

courtesy of Google Image



Here are some recommendations of books for you to read:

• "Six ways to keep the Little in your girl"
  
• "8 great dates for moms and daughters"
• Gentle Passage
• Welcome to Womanhood
  Mother/Daughter books to read together:

• The Princess and the Kiss
• Gods Design for Sex Series
• From Girl to Woman
• Beautiful Girlhood
• Beautifully Made 

Coming up next week: "I want, I need, I must have: Helping our daughters to be content"

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Photo courtesty of Dana Leigh Photography